The Bard Family is taking Ralph Wilson Stadium by storm on Sunday to watch the Buffalo Bills completely dominate the Tennessee Titans, with a score of at least 45 to 0. With that, many of us are watching what we eat, drink, and do pretty carefully, which got me to thinking how I was going to survive the weekend. Thus, the 2 Fat Nerds Guide to Tailgating.

On Vegetarianism

There is nothing more manly than a big slab o’ beef and a foot-long chili dog before the big game. Then again, there is nothing quite like having massive intestinal discomfort in a stadium with 73,079 other people who probably ate a bunch of crap too. My advice is this, if you haven’t been eating meat regularly, this particular Sunday probably isn’t the best time to start. Load up on the favorite choice of 2 Fat Nerds, Morning Star Spicy Black Bean Burgers!

Also, if you are a vegetarian (or have other less-common dietary restrictions) and are meeting up with people who will be tailgating, bring your own junk. Don’t make a big deal of it, just slide your bean burger onto the grill. It will be okay.

On Drinking

Pro Tip 1: If you get too drunk to get through security, you will be turned away and lose your money. Drinking some good brews in the parking lot is cool, just keep it classy.

Pro Tip 2: If someone offers you a home-brewed beer, pour slowly into a red Solo cup and avoid emptying the bottle. The natural carbonation process leaves a layer of sediment at the bottom of the bottle and if you disturb it, there can be off-tastes. It is also okay to give real feedback about someones beer. Just be polite about it!

Pro Tip 3: You might have the urge to bring wine or liquor. That is lame. Shut up and drink a beer. Even “piss beer” like Utica Club.

Pro Tip 4: If you’ve had one too many, don’t drive. They have state troopers all over the place, and they will find you. Then WHEN they do, they post your business in the news.

On Food

Really, the key is portion control. Just because you are out having fun and having a good time, don’t completely throw out your week’s hard work for that extra half of a sub that you really don’t need. If you need to, put a piece of paper in your back pocket and write down what you eat (or log it in your fitness app). It’ll keep you honest.


On Clothing

If you are going to the game (and therefore not sitting on your couch in the living room), you have to display the team swag! Don’t wear your B.A.A. running shirt. Throw on your cold-weather gear underneath your team swag and rep the brand. Hats are a must!

And finally: